Your habits count but the belief that you can succeed affects whether or not you will. In part,that‘s because optimists and pessimists deal with the same challenges and disappointments in very different ways. When things go wrong the pessimist tends to blame himself.“I’m not good at this.”“I always fail.”He would say. But the optimist looks for loopholes. Negative or positive,it was a self-fulfilling prophecy. If people feel hopeless they don‘t bother to acquire the skills they need to succeed.
A sense of control is the litmus test for success. The optimist feels in control of his own life. If things are going badly,he acts quickly,looking for solutions,forming a new plan of action,and reaching out for advice. The pessimist feels like fate‘s plaything and moves slowly. He doesn’t seek advice,since he assumes nothing can be done. Many studies suggest that the pessimist‘s feeling f helplessness undermines the body’s natural defenses,the immune system. Research has found that the pessimist doesn‘t take good care of himself. Feeling passive and unable to dodge life’s blows,he expects ill health and other misfortunes,no matter what he does. He munches on junk food,avoids exercise,ignores the doctor,had another drink.
Most people are a mix of optimism and pessimism,but are inclined in one direction or the other. It is a pattern of thinking learned at our mothers‘knees. It grown out of thousands of cautions or encouragements,negative statements or positives ones. Too many“don’t”and warnings of danger can make a child feel incompetent,fearful—and pessimistic. Pessimism is hard habit to break—but it can be done.