We've pretty much mastered for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, forsaking all othters. Instead of repeating those vows and recommitting to what we've already accomplished, I want us to make some new promises for this stage of our relationship.
Here are a few:
I will trim my nose hair as often as necessary.
I will not pick my nose or scratch my butt in public.
I won't bite my nails if you don't pick your toes.
I won't mention your belly if you don't mention my gray hair.
I will share the blanket.
It's true--after more than a decade together, some of our physical habits have become annoying. It's hard for me to remember, but there was a time actually lulled me to sleep, rather than keeping me awake.
It isn't just physical habits that can grate on each other's nerves now. Our verbal habits can also be frustrating. For example, my husband is a very funny man. Except when he's not.
So, some additional vows:
I will only tell jokes I know are funny.
If you stop talking to me while I'm reading, I'll stop talking to you while you're watching "Iron Chef."
I promise to interrupt you while you're speaking only in case of an actual emergency (which includes wanting to know where you've put the chocolate).
I won't sing a song unless I know all the words.
I'll try to limit conversations that involve yelling from room to room, except when I'm in the bathroom and need more toilet paper, or when I'm in the bedroom and wonder what's for dinner, or when I'm in th TV room and you're playing computer games.
As we enter our second decade of marriage, we'll both be in our 40s, instead of our 30s. Some of our chaming idiosyncrasies now look more like character flaws. We've both changed, but not necessarily in the ways either of us might have imagined or hoped.
At the same time, there are agreements we've tacitly made, without explicitly acknowledging them. They include:
I will say "I was wrong, you were right."
I will remind you regularly why you married me and why I married you.
I will keep it together when you're falling apart and only fall apart when you're able to hold things together.
As we grow older, we hope to mature faster than we age. We learn to love, honor and cherish ourselves. And we try to have and hold onto money better.
As our marriages age, it becomes harder than ever to forsake all other destractions(kids, work, the Internet) and pay attention to our partners, who we expect to see beside us on the other side of the bed, the other side of the table, the other side of our lives. They are our mirrors, but they are not us.
So, in the next phase of our lives, I will look beyond the flaws and the imperfections and the inadequacies we all feel and celebrate the life my husband and I have created and the love we enjon.
Till death to us part.
到今年秋天, 我和丈夫就結(jié)婚滿十周年了.我想我們都準(zhǔn)備好了做出新的誓言。
無(wú)論富裕貧窮，無(wú)論疾病安康，都不離不棄。關(guān)于這點(diǎn)，我們已經(jīng)做得蠻不錯(cuò)的了。我不想再重復(fù)這些誓言，或承諾做一些我們已經(jīng)做到的事情。相反，我們的婚姻走到了目前的這一階段，我希望做出一些新的承諾。
例如以下這些：
我會(huì)按需要經(jīng)常修剪鼻毛。我不會(huì)在公共場(chǎng)合挖鼻孔或者撓屁股。
你不剔趾甲，我就不咬手指甲。
只要你不說(shuō)我的白發(fā)，我就不提你的肚腩。、
我會(huì)和你分享毛毯。
這可是真心話--在共處了十年以后，我們的一些生活習(xí)慣已經(jīng)變得令人討厭了。我現(xiàn)在也記不清了，但是曾經(jīng)有段時(shí)間，我覺(jué)得丈夫的鼾聲很可愛(ài)。那時(shí)候他的鼾聲并沒(méi)有吵得我無(wú)法睡覺(jué)，反而能讓我安然入睡。
現(xiàn)在不僅僅是我們的一些生活習(xí)慣會(huì)讓對(duì)方發(fā)狂，我們說(shuō)話的習(xí)慣也會(huì)很惱人。譬如說(shuō)，丈夫是一個(gè)非常風(fēng)趣的人，在他言辭乏味的時(shí)候除外。
所以，我的誓言還要加上這幾條：
我只會(huì)講自己確定好笑的笑話。
如果你在我看書(shū)的時(shí)候，能不跟我說(shuō)話、打擾我，我就不會(huì)在你看《鐵廚師》的時(shí)候跟你說(shuō)話。我發(fā)誓只在十萬(wàn)火急的情況下才打斷你的話（包括想知道你把巧克力放哪里了）。
我絕不會(huì)唱歌，除非我能把歌詞記全。
我會(huì)絕不隔著房間喊話，除非我在洗手間又需要衛(wèi)生紙，或者我在臥室里又想知道晚餐吃什么，又或者是我在電視房而你在玩電腦游戲。
當(dāng)我們步入婚姻的第二個(gè)十年的時(shí)候，我們倆也都告別而立，進(jìn)入不惑之年了。我們有些曾經(jīng)很討人喜歡的個(gè)性，現(xiàn)在卻成了缺點(diǎn)。我們都變了，但并未必是朝著我們想象或者希望的方向改變。
與此同時(shí)，我們多了些心照不宣的默契，盡管彼此都沒(méi)有言明，這些默契包括：
我會(huì)說(shuō)："我錯(cuò)了，你是對(duì)的。"
我會(huì)常常提醒你當(dāng)初為什么娶了我，而我又為什么嫁給了你。
在你崩潰的時(shí)候我會(huì)盡力支撐大局，只有在你能支撐大局的時(shí)候，我才會(huì)崩潰。
隨著年歲的增長(zhǎng)，我們希望能夠快點(diǎn)成熟，比我們實(shí)際年齡的增長(zhǎng)還要快。我們學(xué)著去愛(ài)自己、尊重自己，和珍惜自己。我們也嘗試著攢錢和更合理地花錢。
隨著婚姻的成長(zhǎng)，我們更難擺脫讓我們分心的事情（孩子、工作，和互聯(lián)網(wǎng)），來(lái)專注于我們的伴侶。我們習(xí)慣了感覺(jué)到對(duì)方躺在床的另一邊，看見(jiàn)對(duì)方坐在餐桌旁的另一端，習(xí)慣了對(duì)方是我們生活的另一半。他們是我們的鏡子，但卻不是我們。
那么，在我們婚姻生活的這個(gè)新階段，我會(huì)超越生活中的缺點(diǎn)，瑕疵和不足，來(lái)贊頌自己和丈夫一同創(chuàng)造的生活和我們之間的愛(ài)。
不離不棄，至死不渝。
